You tell your kids to “be nice” and to “use kind words”, but do you ever tell them why kindness matters or where it actually comes from?
You’ve likely heard of the Fruit of the Spirit, love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control, from Galatians 5:22-23. Maybe you memorized the list as a child. Maybe there’s a poster of it somewhere in your house.
Though that poster is cute and may serve as a reminder of the fruit names, there’s a difference between having children memorize the list of fruits and actually teaching how to live them out.
Teaching your kids the real meaning of the “Fruit of the Spirit” can be one of the most powerful tools used in pointing your kids’ hearts toward God.
It's Not About Raising "Good Kids." It's About Knowing God.
I don’t teach my kids the Fruit of the Spirit so they’ll behave better in public, though that is an expectation. I teach it because each fruit provides them insight into who God is.
When my kids are patient with one another, they are reflecting God’s patience with us. When one of them chooses gentleness over a meltdown, they are practicing what it looks like to be led by the Spirit instead of by their own emotions.
That’s the shift I’d invite you to make. The Fruit of the Spirit isn’t a behavior chart. It’s a relationship map. It shows kids what it looks like when God’s Spirit is at work in a person, and it gives them language for it, so when they feel that quiet nudge toward kindness or patience or self-control, they can recognize it and name it as God working in them.
Why This Matters So Much Right Now
Our kids are growing up in a world that is loud, fast, and constantly telling them who to be. If we don’t offer them a clear, simple picture of Christlike character early on, something else will fill that space and it rarely reflects what we hope for them. Teaching the Fruit of the Spirit gives kids:
- A moral compass rooted in relationship, not rules. They aren’t behaving well to avoid trouble; they’re growing in character because they’re growing closer to God.
- Language for their emotions and choices. Instead of simply saying “I was mean,” they can begin to recognize, “I wasn’t showing kindness there.”
- A framework that grows with them. A five-year-old can understand “be gentle with the dog”. A fifteen-year-old can apply the meaning of gentleness while having a hard conversation with a friend. Same fruit, deeper roots.
How to Actually Teach This
This isn’t a one-and-done lesson. Teaching the Fruit of the Spirit is more like planting a garden than checking a box. It takes repetition, patience, and grace along the way.
Here’s what has worked well in our home:
1. Focus on one fruit at a time.
Trying to teach all nine at once means nobody remembers any of them. Focus on one fruit for a week or two, talking about it at dinner, watching for it during the day, praying about growing in it, before moving to the next.
2. Point it out when you see it.
When your child shows a glimpse of patience, kindness, or self-control, name it in the moment. “You were patient while waiting your turn. That’s the Holy Spirit at work in you.” Real-time connection is one of the most effective teaching tools you have.
3. Use Bible stories, not just definitions.
Kids remember stories far better than vocabulary. Talk about Joseph’s self-control, Ruth’s faithfulness, or Jesus’ gentleness with children. Character sticks when it has a face and a story attached to it.
4. Let them see you naming your own growth.
Saying “I’m working on being more patient today” is honest and relatable. It shows them that growing these fruits is a lifelong process, not something you either have or don’t.
5. Make it hands-on.
This is often where parents and ministry leaders get stuck. We know what to teach but may not have the ideas for how. Simple, hands-on activities like coloring pages, matching games, journal prompts, and scripture memory cards help these concepts move from something you talked about to something your child actually understands and remembers.
A Resource to Help
If you like the idea of teaching this intentionally but don’t always have time to plan it out, I put together a Fruit of the Spirit Worksheet Bundle, a full set of kid-friendly worksheets and activities covering all nine fruits, designed to make these conversations easier and more engaging.
Grab the Fruit of the Spirit Worksheet Bundle and start these conversations with your kids this week.
When our kids learn the Fruit of the Spirit, not as a list to memorize, but as a picture of who God is and who He’s shaping them to become, it does more than improve their behavior. It draws them closer to Him. That’s a goal worth working toward.
How do you teach the Fruit of the Spirit? Please share with the community. We would love to hear from you.